A bunch of my extended family got together at our little neighborhood pool the other day. The Colorado sun was bright and hot. The water cool and refreshing. And a load of fun for all the little ones. There were some very interesting and talented folks in attendance. It was the first time that many of us had even met one another. Wonderful. The delivered Dominoes Cheese Pizzas, while by no means gourmet (more of that later), was a hit among the tykes. And, generally, the appropriate social distancing recommendations were observed by all.

God Bless Us, Everyone

It’s best, of course, to begin at the beginning. Which, when it comes to events like these, means my wife, Marleen. No detail escapes her well organized, drill sergeant like mind. And it certainly didn’t fail us this time. The food, the drinks, the paper plates, the napkins, the plastic silverware: check, check, and double-check. And did I mention the pool side chairs? It’s BYO at our pool because of COVID. Yeah, Marleen had that covered, too.

The Media Darling

This is going to drive my daughter, Lauren, nuts but I’m going to do it anyway. This, after all, is my blog.

So next I’ll mention my cousin Paul’s daughter, Carrie Baird. (Lauren thinks I’m obsessed with her. And exactly how is my cousin’s daughter related to me? First cousin, once removed? Second cousin? I’m clueless.)

In any event, Carrie is something of a local-and even national-celebrity chef. She placed high on the recent series, Top Chef Colorado. With her longtime boyfriend, Blake (who also joined us poolside), she’s been involved with several successful Denver metro restaurants. Blake’s family runs a spooky Halloween-monster business out of Greeley; you have to see it to believe what they’re up to. We hadn’t seen either of them in a long time, so it was great to catch up. And, believe me, what the Dominoes cheese pizzas lacked in terms of “gourmet,” Carrie and Blake have it covered like a blanket at their restaurants.

It’s All In The Family

So much for Carrie and Blake. Now, on to my own family.

In order of seniority, our first daughter, Lauren. (Her older brother, Byron, lives in Omaha, is a techie for Google, and couldn’t get away for a Monday morning dip at the pool. You lose!) Lauren’s a great nurse at Children’s Hospital. At least, until this COVID thing hit. Then, with three delightful little ones (all boys except two girls), she decided it just wasn’t worth continuing to work just one day a week. But how do I describe Lauren? “A woman with a mind of her own,” probably fits. And she rarely hesitates to share it with me.

And the youngest of our brood? That’s Jocelyn. Mother of two more equally delightful little granddaughters. A great, freewheeling chef in her own right, she, like her sister, is a winsome Christian. And how do I describe Jocelyn? She can light up a room just by walking in; to know Jocelyn is to like her.

Oh! I almost forgot

My bad. Carrie’s sister, Abby, was also poolside with her two little towhead daughters. The youngest (sorry, I can’t remember her name) is about three months old and brings to mind Bibendum, the Michelin Man. My aunt Joyce would have had a field day pinching her cheeks. Abby’s husband, Parker, was busy and couldn’t join us. Why? He’s a resident a the CU med school. He’s also half native Alaskan and full on mountain man. Get this: he recently climbed Colorado’s highest peak, Mount Elbert, carrying his mountain bike. He didn’t carry it back down. Parker and Carrie plan to return to Alaska when he completes med school.

Yeah? So What?

Ok. But, aren’t we badly off track here? What’s all this swimming and family stuff got to do with what you told us this blog was about? In other words, mental health?

Just this: it’s long been recognized that a number of psychiatric disorders tend to run in families. In other words, there’s probably a genetic component for illnesses like depression, bipolar disorder, ADHD, and schizophrenia. Want more? Check out this article from the National Institute of Health.

Now, don’t get me wrong. Just because there’s one certified whack job in our family, ME, it doesn’t necessarily mean there are others in that same family. It just means that there’s a better chance of having another one in our family than in the populace at large.

The Refiner’s Fire

Warning! Viewer discretion advised. This post is about to get religious and may not be suitable for all readers.

One time, Jesus said, “If anyone wants to come after Me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow Me.” (Luke 9:23)

“Ugh!” you might say, “What’s that doing here? Sure doesn’t sound much like family fun, splish-splashing at the pool.”

True, the pool has very little to do with Christ’s words. But family has a whole lot to do with them.

“And why’s that?” you could reasonably ask again.

Because family, rightly understood and practiced, is a crucible. And a high pressure one at that. Am I the perfect spouse? Obviously, no. And if you doubt that, just ask my wife. And so it goes for all spouses. And, for that matter, all kids.

“So,” you might ask again, “why get married at all if, in the end, you’re just going to make each other miserable?”

The simple answer? Because marriage and family are the first and most fundamental tools that God uses to teach us that-SURPRISE!-there just might be someone in the world more important than me, myself, and I. And where we begin to learn what it means to take up your cross daily. And die to self.

Ned, I’d Love To Stay Here And Talk With You . . . But I’m Not Going To

Is there more to be said on this topic? Yeah, I think so. In fact, try the whole Bible. Which is probably about the smartest thing I’ve said all day. And you know what? It’s best to quit when you’re ahead.